The costs of coaching...or not

On a message board regarding mentoring, a businessman noticed what he considered to be a "paradox of coaching": that coaches and mentors seem to be most effective helping the already successful people "get better" or succeed even more, while those who are experiencing a crisis, a failure, or who truly need it the most probably can't afford high coaching fees. Is this truly a paradox?

I can't speak for all coaches out there, as there are many different coaching philosophies and flavors. But I can tell you what coaching is to me, who it helps and when it helps.

First of all, let's consider that "being successful" and "needing help" are both subjective phrases. Who needs "help", and what kind of help do they need? What does it mean to get better--is this to improve one's life and live one's dreams, or is it to recover from a health issue, a bad relationship, or a sudden, significant life change?

I believe that coaching is on the continuum of well-being and self-improvement. On one end is therapy, which is critical for resolving problems from the past in order to experience the present. On the other is coaching, which doesn't work when a pathology is present (e.g.: depression, alcoholism, abuse). Coaching works "from the future" so to speak, creating the life you want in the future right now in the present. It is clearly self-improvement. It is certainly striving for something better. It requires a willingness to study oneself critically and a readiness to change. But coaching is not necessarily "help" in the context of managing/surviving a crisis.

No doubt coaching can be quite expensive. But so can keeping the status quo. And there's probably nothing as expensive as merely surviving.

Sometimes it's helpful to consider the following questions:
- How much is the stress of your job costing you?
- How much income are you wasting by not achieving the promotion you desire / finding the right career right now?
- How much will you pay in healthcare and insurance for not being able to stay on track with healthy eating and fitness goals?
- How much money will you waste when your start-up business goes belly up?

These are just a few examples of questions that directly impact the bottom line. This is to say nothing of the other "costs" (emotional, physical, family, friends, etc.) associated with these issues.

There are many governmental programs, including therapy, job/career counseling, debt counseling, etc. available to those who make a few bad choices and wind up in serious financial crisis. Coaching does not replace these.

If you are satisfied with your life the way it is, coaching won't help. If you sense that there is more to the life that you are currently living, but you aren't sure what that looks like or how to get there, a coach might be a great partner.