What is compassion?

Earlier today I was reading through some posts on a networking site I subscribe to, and one of the participants posted this question.

For me, compassion has two parts that make it whole. First is compassion for oneself. Can you make mistakes, fail miserably, really mess things up and take responsibility for it? There is no one to blame; you simply own what happens to you. At the same time, can you forgive yourself and allow your mistakes, your humanity, and accept these mistakes as part of a process of learning, growing, and living? If you have compassion for yourself, then you can have compassion for others. There is no need to judge others from a distance and from a feeling of superiority. You recognize that they, like you, make mistakes, mess up, fail on occasion as part of living their life. If we practice compassion for others, we allow ourselves to be related to others and accept them on their own terms, wherever they are at the moment.

I've noticed that when I find myself getting aggravated by the actions of others, or when I'm holding a grudge against someone for something that rubbed me the wrong way, it's always related to my being aggravated or angry with myself. This correlation always exists. When I have a moment of clarity and realize this, I ask myself what it is I'm really mad about. If I'm snapping at my kids for asking for a third afternoon snack in two hours, sometimes I realize that I'm angry about my own needs not being met. I lose my compassion for their needs because I can't allow myself my own. If I can forgive myself for my crankiness, I can forgive them for their sweet selfishness and all lack of reason :). If I can have compassion for my own selfishness, my own irrational thinking, the times I "lose it" and qualify for the Bad Parent of the Year Award, then I can forgive others and allow them their imperfections, no matter their age and level of maturity.